🌴 We’re committed to keeping Florida wild — and that includes how we do business. 🌎💥All of our merch is made-to-order just for you to reduce waste and move toward a more sustainable future. Because of this, items in your order may ship separately, depending on production times. We’ll keep you updated every step of the way with tracking info for each item via email. Thanks for supporting real Florida, real people, and real change. 🤙🏼
Hank used to live a peaceful life in the Florida backwoods—drippin’ swamp water, mindin’ his own business, vibin’ under the cypress. That was before the bulldozers came through, clear-cut his home, and threw up a master-planned community named “The Preserve.” Now Hank’s out here with nothing but his shades, his cardboard sign, and a whole lotta righteous rage.
He didn’t want to be the face of a movement. But when the last tree falls, the loudest voice is the one that smells like swamp funk and justice.
💥 Why This Tee Slaps
This isn’t just a comfy tee—it’s a call to action. When you wear Hank Ain’t Havin’ It, you’re standing up for Florida’s wild side. You’re telling every developer with a clipboard and no conscience: “We see you—and we’re not buying your stucco-sided lies.”
Every purchase helps bring attention to the vanishing Florida Hank (and his cryptid cousins). Buy a shirt. Help find Hank a home. Make overdevelopment uncomfortable again.
👕 Product Info
Relaxed-fit women’s tee – flattering, breathable, and chill like Hank used to be
Ultra-soft cotton blend you’ll never want to take off
Lightweight feel, drop-shoulder seams, loose fit = perfection
