Hank was born in a cypress hammock, raised on gator tail and palmetto berries, and never bothered nobody. But one day the excavators came rumbling, the sawgrass turned to sod, and just like that—Hank’s stomping grounds got steamrolled for a gated golf community called “The Preserve.”
Now he’s out here, sign in hand, smelling like swamp and sadness, warning folks what happens when you pave over paradise. He didn’t choose this life… but he sure ain’t staying quiet about it.
🧢 Why This Tee Matters
This isn’t just a shirt—it’s a statement. When you rock Hank Ain’t Havin’ It, you’re not just repping Big Florida Energy—you’re joining the resistance against soulless sprawl and telling the developers: “Not here. Not again.”
Proceeds help raise awareness (and maybe one day a hammock) for Hank and cryptids like him who’ve lost their turf to unchecked development. Buy a shirt. Find Hank a home.
☀️ Product Info
⭐100% ring-spun cotton with a vintage wash
⭐Garment-dyed for a soft, sun-worn feel
⭐Relaxed fit with serious durability
⭐Printed front graphic of Hank with his protest sign
⭐Small BFE logo on the back so you stay legit
🧼 Care Instructions
⭐Wash cold inside out
⭐Tumble dry low or line dry like your meemaw used to
⭐Do not iron over Hank’s beautiful fur
⭐Wash with like-minded tees only 😤
🦧💥 Show Florida some love. Wear Hank’s warning. And for the love of swamps—stop building cul-de-sacs in panther territory.
